Sue's Blog - Some assembly required.

Nightmares and Dreams

Nightmare

Oh what a sweet, gentle little kitty.
She would have you think so.

Yesterday it was the dreaded yearly run to the vet's so that the kitties could get their vaccinations.
It is like a military operation.
There is much planning involved.
Looby Loo (the former feral cat) needs only to get a snifter of a cat carrier being moved and she will disappear into the deepest, darkest depths of this house ........probably the basement.......never to be found.
We have come up with various plans for capturing her before she realises something is afoot.
Anyway, amazingly I got her into the dining room, but as soon as I closed the door behind us she knew that the trap had been sprung and the bloodcurdling, heart rending screams of "NO" started.
She really does scream "NO".......and she doesn't stop all the way to the vet's.
Lollipop was an easy catch and then off we went.
We have to do two shifts as we can't manage 4 cats in one go.
First two at 10 am......second two at 11 am.
At the vet's it was plain sailing. Looby Loo curls up into a tight ball, like a hedgehog, and the vet can look at her eyes, ears etc.....twist her this way and that ........she doesn't move at all.
Lollipop was scared but ok.
Back for the other 2. So far this was a piece of cake.............oh hapless human ......what was I thinking.
Bubba and Lily jump into the carriers as soon as we set them down. No need to catch them at all.
Back to vet's.
Bubba........hmmmmmmmmm.......he was pretty good but since he had a tooth out one time he gets miffed if they try to look in his mouth. He growls a bit and you know he is becoming irritated.
Anyway, he was done.....back in the carrier.......now to Lily.
Sweet little, fluffy, cuddly Lily.
"Oh what a gorgeous kitty" said the assistant .......soon to lose this innocence.
Well, she was ok for a bit .......right up to the bit when the business end of the needle was going to be stuck in her bum...........then SHE EXPLODED!!!!!!
SHE EXPLODED INTO THE HELL CAT THAT SCARED SATAN OUT OF HELL.
She was just a mass of teeth and claws.
Assistance was needed ...quoth the vet.
In came a robust girl with leather bracelets who looked like she did car repossessions on the side.
"Do you want gloves?" enquired the vet.
"Nope.....I will scruff her" came the confident reply.
"Oh will you" smirked Her Royal Highness Princess Lilibet the Third.
Well, I give her points for trying. Lily produced an even bigger explosion she took off from the table, bounced around the room, tried to get into the rubbish bin making a noise that you would not believe could come from a cat....well unless it was a sabre tooth tiger with the mega hump.
Reinforcements appeared.......but to no avail........in the end they produced some sort of cat trapping device which grabs the poor kitty, encases it in plastic mesh and enables the catcher to keep it at arms length.
This was so very traumatic to all of us. The cat was upset, the vet was upset and we were upset.
The vet wrote notes on Lily's records that say next year we must figure out a different plan.
She will have to been seen first and dealt with quickly.
I personally think I will have to give her something to sedate her before we go (us too if possible).
Philip looked like he had been dragged through some barbed wire. His hands were covered in blood .....poor thing.......but did he make a fuss.........of course he did.......he is a bloke.
On our return Lily bounced out of the carrier as if nothing untoward had taken place at all....we were still quivering wrecks.
Definitely a different plan next year.

Dream

Oh what a night. You would think after all the drama of yesterday morning that I might have dreamt of fighting dragons or something last night.
Oh no.
I dreamt about helping a friend out.
I won't mention which friend lest I embarrass Dave.
In this dream we were attending a 'New Sweets Convention' and Dave had invented a nougat bar that he was entering into a competition.
(This all seemed perfectly natural in the dream).
But, he had made this bar and given it to me to find a wrapper for it. There I was running around this convention hall with the bloody nougat bar in my hand. I was so cross. The bar should have been in a fridge and was getting all soft and sticky.
He was supposed to have made the wrapper but hadn't. He then told me to find an envelope to put it in.
I couldn't find a poxy envelope.
I was on the point of telling him where he could shove his nougat bar when I heard the rules announced. He should have put cherries in it and he had put apricots !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh misery me.
There I was trying to squish this bar out, put some cherries in and roll it up again.
Was he bothered? Was he buggery.
Next time David, you can do your own running around with your nougat bar.
I was worn out when I woke up.
Dreams are funny things.

posted by Sue Banks @ 1:58 PM