Sue's Blog - Some assembly required.

Still works..........

Good to know my "Idiot Magnet" is still working.

Went to WalMart this morning.
Oh this is the place to go if you are idiot hunting.
Personally, I don't seem to have to do any actual hunting. They come out of the woodwork to find me.

It was pouring with rain. Thunder, lightning - the works - which was very good.
We haven't had any rain in ages and the ground has turned to concrete. The grass was crispy and I was totally ticked off with having to keep watering the plants.
Fortunately, we don't have such things as hosepipe bans over here. They did try to do that one year and it caused uproar.
There were radio presenters who put the case that it was a ridiculous suggestion.
I quote,
"So they are telling that when we have had no rain and the garden needs watering that I can't water it, but, when we have plenty of rain and the garden doesn't need watering then I can "
This did come across as oddly logical.
But I digress.
On entering WalMart with a dripping brolly, the greeter (do you have 'greeters' yet over in Blighty? Wondrous beings 'greeters'. I don't know how we could possibly shop without them), oh yes, the greeter handed me a "wet umbrella plastic bag".
What a fab idea!!!
I know you lot over there are all very excess plastic bag conscious, but over here they still hand them out willy nilly.
As I was putting my wet brolly in my wet brolly bag and thanking the 'ancient greeter lady' a nearby idiot said "Oh sounds like you are not from around these parts."
This prompted my standard reply of, " No, I am from Texas."
His face sort crumpled a bit as his three brain cells fought each other to try to work this out.
I tried to escape.
No deal.
He chased after me. "Where are you really from?" he said in the worst British accent it has been my misfortune to hear.
Now this really winds me up. Why do some people think it is endearing to try to mimic the way someone speaks?
And, why do they think it is alright to do that to British people in particular?
I wonder, do they do a Basil Fawlty, goose step and mimic German people?
Would they pull their eyes and say "Ahh so" to Japanese businessmen?
What about Indian people? They could really let loose on those.

Anyway, he continued to follow me around the store still speaking in this monstrous accent, telling me that his great uncle came from England.
I am pretty sure he expected me to compliment him on his mastery of English. I did not.
I asked him where his uncle came from. Of course, he didn't know and gave up the chase.

I had an all too frequent experience with the nurse who gave me my flu shot on Thursday.
Philip gets his done at work but I have to go to the chemist for mine.
Anyway, the nurse asked me where I was from and I was kind this time and just said England.
Well, she was about to stick a needle in my arm so I wasn't going to upset her.
Her grandfather came from England.
"Oh", said I "Whereabouts?"
"The county of Kent", she replied.
"Oh really. I was living in Kent before I came over here. Do you know where in Kent he came from?"
"Totton Street", she said.

At least she didn't ask if I knew him.

posted by Sue Banks @ 11:11 AM