Sue's Blog - Some assembly required.

Oh...Brother !!!

This is Brother.
They were the band at River Rhythms last night.
They are my favourite. They are an Aussie band of brothers whose father was obviously Scottish.
Their names.............Angus, Hamish and Fergus.

They play what they call "Mongrel, Tribal Rock" and it combines, off all things, didgeridoos and bagpipes..........as well as guitars etc.
They are very talented and wearing leather kilts is just a bit of a bonus really.
Brilliant.
But, before going off to River Rhythms I had had an interesting day at work.
I had the best "perv" phone call to date.
It left the "dangler" episode in the dust.
It went something as follow:

I answer the phone to be met with a nasally, squeaky, Kenneth Williams ish voice on the other end.
Ah ah............."PERV ALERT ! PERV ALERT!!"

Perv.............."(puff, pant).....I want to ask (pant) about the (huff) massage.

Me................."Oh yes"

Perv.............."(puff, huff)........what sort of (pant ) massage do you do there?

Me.................(Engaging school marm voice reserved for occasions such as these)
"All the massage therapists here are QUALIFIED, FULLY TRAINED therapists
who do deep tissue massage down to relaxation massage."

Perv..............."(pant, oooh ooooh) .....I need a (puff) relaxation (pant) massage. How many (pant,
huff) do you have and what ( oh, oh, puff) hours are you open?

Me...................(Trying not to laugh) " Five therapists here between 9am and 7pm.

Perv................."(ooooh) some places I called had (pant, puff) men!!

Me...................(Jumping in here) "OH....did you particularly want a man?"

Perv................."NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I WANT A WOMAN (puff, oh, pant). How long have (puff,
ooh, oooh) the therapists been there?

Me...................."Well, it varies..............WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THAT FOR?"

Perv................."(puff, pant) just wanted to know how(oh, oooh, pant) experienced they are.

Me....................(GOT HIM)..... "Oh we have an old lady who has been doing this for a very long
time........maybe she would suit you?"

Perv.................."( Ooooh, oh, pant, puff) I will check my schedule (huff, puff, pant)between
9am and 7pm and call you back."

Me....................."YEAH RIGHT."

When I got off the phone I couldn't stop laughing.
Well, he was obviously enjoying himself. Over here they find a British accent a real turn on.
It must have been the answer to a prayer for him when he got an accent on the other end of the phone.

I do wonder if I might be missing a career somewhere though.
I surprise myself that I can keep from laughing while they are on the phone. There were so many things I wanted to say to him but I didn't. My control does not falter.

"If you can help somebody" as the old song goes.

posted by Sue Banks @ 9:00 AM