Friday, May 30, 2014

In an emergency push button 1

 I think the calls started on Wednesday.

The first one caught me by surprise.  A very earnest voice on the line told me that my computer was sending error messages to their server.
Yes, apparently these messages are serious.  Was I at my computer?
No I wasn't.  I was in the middle of painting my latest masterpiece and I didn't like being disturbed.
Well, he wanted me to rush to the computer where he would tell me what to do.  It would show how my computer was infected by a virus !!!
Now this sounded rather dodgy to me so I told him he would need to call back when my computer savvy husband was home and talk to him about it.
This went on for some while before he gave up and said he would call back.
I called Philip at work, who said it was more than dodgy and did some research.
Apparently, this is a well known scam (but not to me....I must come out from under my rock more often), where they get you to type stuff into your computer which gives them access to it.
They can get all your passwords, bank details, business and also plant a virus which they then charge you to remove.
Hmmmmmmmmmm......not very nice.
Amazingly he did call back.
Unfortunately Philip wasn't home.
He introduced himself as John.  Hmmm....John with a thick Indian accent I could barely understand.
He rattled some spiel off, but I told him I couldn't understand what he said.
"I am very well thank you," he replied.
He told me again about this nasty virus that was eating my computer.  Lots of urgency in his voice now.  It was sending messages to their server...yeah heard that last time.......
I asked him what country he was talking from.
He assured me it was the USA and, I think, said Phoenix Arizona.
I then tried to engage him in conversation about how lovely it is in Phoenix.  Oh he wasn't having any of that.
I eventually told him his fortune.
I told him he is a scam artist and could get off my phone.  I hung up with him still protesting his innocence.

I didn't expect to hear from them again.........ha ha.......I was wrong.
Yesterday, I got another one.
Ricky this time, same accent, same story.
I asked why his server would be receiving these messages.  He said that the store we bought the computer from sent the details when we bought it.  He is microsoft certified (this statement was repeated several times as if it would somehow be evidence of his veracity).
I then informed him that we didn't buy our computer from a store.  My husband built it.  I also told him I wanted to know how he had got my phone number.
He hung up.
Ha...too much for you matey.

Yesterday afternoon I had a really awful angina attack.  Probably one of the worse I have had. I almost got to the point of dialing 911 but it eventually began to fade.  A bit scary none the less.
I know it is nothing to do with these phone calls but this attack did make me feel fed up.  I don't get them all that often so when I go a while with out one I start thinking I won't have any more.
One like this gave me the hump, to put it mildly.  Plus, I know that the next day (today) I will feel washed out and achy.

But, something happened which made me feel so much better and gave me a good giggle.

So, this morning I was in the shower .........when the phone rang.
I knew.....I just knew.
I got out of the shower and answered the phone.  I was ready this time.
They are crafty though..........they had upped the ante.
This was a woman.
Same accent, couldn't catch the name as the water was running.   I moved out of the bathroom.
Oh, she was all fired up.
My computer is infected with a virus !!   It was sending error messages to their server !!!!!!!!!
Lots of urgency in the voice now.
I had to go to the computer right away and she would show me what to do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Oh dear," quoth I, "what shall I do? I know I will have a yodel."
This is when I put my emergency yodel button ( see picture above) right up to the phone and pressed it.
The yodel goes on for quite a few seconds and I felt sure she would be gone by the time it had finished.
I went back to the phone..........she was still there.
"By Jove I needed that.  Nothing like a good yodel when you are feeling stressed.  I think I need another." I quipped before pressing the button against the phone again.
She must be gone this time.............she was still there !!!
But all was not well in the land of Computer Hacker R Us.
"I do love a good yodel," I smirked, "Do you like yodelling?", I asked innocently.
Gone was the fired up, urgency that had been there before.

A very small voice replied, "no" and was gone.
I wonder how she will explain that one to her supervisor.

If anyone has any other ideas of how to play these crooks along when they phone, I would be pleased to hear them.
I have been trying to think of a good song I could sing (my singing is pretty awful), but maybe you have a better idea.


At May 30, 2014 at 11:07 AM , Blogger Heather Zerfahs said...

THere was a thing on a #beat the fraudsters' type programme this week about these so called microsoft certified idiots - all Microsoft could suggest was changing your password often and don't pay them anything...not much help :(


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