Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Idiot Magnet Overload

Well we left The Wigwam resort in Phoenix Arizona after telling them we would never, ever be coming back.
We were absolutely exhausted when we got to the airport.
Philip had decided he wanted to upgrade the seats again as he really wanted to try to get some sleep on the way home.
His disappointment was tangible as we were told at check in that there were no upgrade seats available.
Oh well, never mind.
But, there was another problem.  They couldn't seem to locate the original seats we had booked.
A supervisor was called.
Glory be, the answer was that we had already been upgraded at no cost.
Now he was smiling.
The only fly in this pot of ointment was the fact that these new, tra la posh, upgraded seats were not together.  They were one behind the other.  Pants, but still better than the pokey little seats at the back.
I said nothing but when we were the first to board the plane and I had a word with the steward who unceremoniously moved us to two seats together and more or less said whoever's seat he had given me would have to lump it.
Oh and he did lump it too.   Lumped it all the way to Milwaukee.
The steward wasn't interested in his moaning.  He just told him that in business class it really didn't make any difference and that we were not going to be separated.
YAY !!

We got home OK, the kitties were ecstatic to see us (not) and all was fine.
The weather here is warm and sunny (not burning hot) and it is always nice to be home.

I have discovered I didn't leave my idiot magnet back in Arizona.
I had a little outing to the Half Price Bookstore.....one of my favourite places.
A man approached me as I was browsing.
I thought he was doing a survey at first as this is what he said.

"You look like a fast reader.  How long would it take you to read a 200 page book?"
"Oh I don't know," I replied, "It would depend on what else I had got to do."
"What about Self Help books?", said he.
"What about them?", was my response.

By now my idiot radar had started to beep.
It was telling me to walk away but I was brought up to be polite so I stayed.

"Do you read self help books?", he insisted.
"Well, I suppose everyone can do with a little help sometimes.", I replied most tactfully.
"I never read fiction.  Did you read The Secret?", he asked.
"Ermmmm...no.", said I.
"Did you see the movie?" he enquired.
"Ermmmm.........that would also be a no." I said, wondering if there was something major I was missing.
He looked aghast.
"Oh it is a wonderful book about...blah, blah, blahdee, blah, blah.", he enthused, and went on blahhing for what seemed like an age.
I really needed to escape.  The idiot radar was screaming at me.
"Are you British?", he changed the subject.
"Yes.", I confessed, somewhat taken aback by this change of tack.
"Oh I love your accent.  I would really like to go to England.  I would really like to have a British accent.", he continued excitedly.
"Well, maybe you will go there one day." I replied, now looking around for a means of escape. Anything would have done, a passing wagon train or maybe a sinkhole opening up just by the the checkout.
"I really want to be able to speak with a British accent.  Maybe if I had a British friend I could practice it with them."
Oh, Oh, time to go, thought I desperately.
"Well, I suggest you watch all the Harry Potter movies.  Practice with them and you will have a British accent in no time."
Then I legged it.....bloody quick.




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