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Family

Saturday 5th October.

Last year I was poorly during my England visit.
Poorly enough that I saw hardly anyone.  I was particularly upset at not being able to visit my brother in Essex.
People might wonder why he didn't visit me.
But, people don't know him.
He never wants to go anywhere and so it has always been down to me to go and see him, which I usually do.
All his family, wife, 3 kids and 6 grandchildren, live in Essex and we usually end up driving from one place to the next to see them all.
It has bothered me since last year that I didn't see him, so I was determined to go this year.
I spoke with his daughter and we arranged that, to make it easier on us travelling up from Kent, we would all meet at her house.
This way my brother and his family would only have a few minutes drive each.
She was so happy and said she would put on a buffet for us.  This was arranged a couple of months before hand.
So, off we set to Essex.

I knew something was wrong as soon as we arrived.
She looked so worried when she opened the door.
Then she told me.  My brother wasn't coming.
We were stunned.
She said he had phoned her with some excuse about a mix up in the dates and that he had to see his friend.
I was so upset.   She also told us that he never, ever goes to her house or any of his other kids houses'.
The grandchildren never see him.
I hadn't seen him in two years, I had made a special effort, not only to get there, but to make his side of the arrangement as easy on him as possible - and he wasn't coming.
Donna was furious.
My sister in law turned up,  the two sons and the grandchildren also......but not him.
His wife (obviously my sister in law) tried to make lame excuses but Donna wasn't having any of it.
"He only sees his friend once a month"
Donna then said, "Oh how often does he see his sister?".
"He only has one friend"
Donna, "Oh how many sisters does he have?"

My niece and nephews were furious with him, but we still had a good time and tried not to let it spoil the day.
One of my nephews brought his virtual reality thingie game with him and we all had a lot of laughs riding virtual roller coasters etc.
One of my nephews plays guitar and helped Lauren tune hers, which she had taken along with her.

I was very sad.
It was like the end of something.   There is only myself and my brother left.
Now I felt like I was on my own.   I doubt I will see him again, for certainly, I will not try that little escapade again and anyway if I did, he would probably be washing his hair or something.
We have never, ever had words or fallen out.  I suppose he is just becoming a recluse and doesn't want anything to do with his family.  Not even his children it would seem.
How very sad.

posted by Sue Banks @ 2:43 PM