Thank crunchie it's Tuesday
Monday was an almost totally horrid day.
It was saved only by the delivery of the beautiful crystal kitty above. This came from a very dear friend for whom I had done the boxer dog portrait.
It was absolutely unexpected, thoughtful, gorgeous and just what I needed.
I had been a bit poorly over the weekend with dodgy ear, sore throat and the shivers.
Generally unwell and a bit fed up.
I had seen the Queen's Pageant on Sunday which had the double effect of making me appreciate seeing all the people enjoying themselves, but at the same time making me sad that I was missing it all.
Monday morning I awoke feeling much better, plus I was going swimming with my old mate.
This already cheered me up.
She came to pick me up and all was well for about 5 minutes.
I shall fill in a little background here.
At the moment Wisconsin is in the middle of a governor race. The voting is today actually.
Republican (conservative) versus Democrat (labour party).
Americans can get rather volatile about politics.
My friend is a staunch republican. They go in for a lot of staunching around here. Particularly the republicans.
I rather favour the democrats. See the difference....rather favour as opposed to staunch.
I prefer not to talk politics as I can see little point. My friend knows I am not in agreement with her point of view and I wish she would just accept that and leave it alone.
I try desperately not to let her start talking politics but this time I couldn't avoid it. There was something she was listening to on the radio and as soon as I got into the car she launched into an attack on the democratic candidate and me for being stupid enough to vote for him.
I can usually deflect these conversations but this day 'the lady was not for turning'.
It seems she considers the democrats to be the epitome of evil. They were probably behind the sinking of the Titanic, the Irish potato famine and the eruption of Krakatoa.
The republicans, on the other hand, probably invented the wheel, sliced bread and superglue.
Her tactics now were to shout at me, right in my face about all the awful things democrats do. She can't bear the fact that we are going to vote for the democratic candidate today.
I tried desperately to change the subject or make little jokes but she just shouted, shouted, me down whenever I tried to speak.
By the time we got to the pool I was very upset. I didn't let her know that but I had had enough.
She accused me of not understanding because I was from a socialist country. She has never been outside of the US. I was even more fed up because apart from this she is a kind, sweet person whom I consider a dear friend.
When I came home I was near to tears ...........and then I found my beautiful crystal kitty. It was exactly what I needed even though I truly didn't expect anything.
After showing Philip the kitty, (which he too thinks is lovely),when he came home I told him what had happened previously. He could see I was upset over it.
It wasn't done yet though. I had to pop round to her house that evening to pick something up and I was dreading it. When we got there I told Philip to wait in the car. He has strong political views too and the last thing I wanted was to be party to a slanging match.
When I was working back in England, I hated it when there was bad feeling in the staff room. Sometimes we would be going in for briefing and my friend Sue would say to me "tin hats on, Kate is gunning for Jim this morning," and my heart would sink. My friend, Garyth, who was head of art, also didn't like 'unpleasantness' and when it kicked off there would be us two trying to slide out of the door unnoticed.
Anyway, I ventured into her apartment.........and she started again.
Yelling at me that I should be voting for her bloke and he would win anyway so I should vote for the winner. I was smiling weakly and saying well everyone is entitled to their opinion. Then I think she got carried away and said rather nastily, "Oh yes but you will take advantage of all the good things he does when he gets elected won't you?"
"What?" I replied, "Ermm.....I don't think that is a very nice thing to say."
Then she repeated it.
I really was very uncomfortable with this. I felt she had backed me into a corner and was prodding me with a stick.
"Ermm.....I really don't think that is a very nice thing to say. I don't think I will be taking advantage of anybody. I totally respect your right to your opinions and I wish you would respect my right to mine."
There I said it. She looked flustered and shocked.
"Oh...I am only kidding you." she said.
This is bullying. That is how bullies try to get out of it when their victim eventually turns.
I very pleasantly said goodnight and left.
I told Philip what had happened and he said he thought she would probably ring when we got home.
He was right. About 30 minutes after we got in the phone rang and it was her but I couldn't answer it just then. I wasn't ready. She left no message.
I knew she must be worried as she knew she had overstepped the mark and I know she values our friendship. I think she just got carried away. I have found this has happened to me a lot over the years. I don't like conflict so I am always the one putting up with stuff rather than make a fuss. Some people see this as weakness (maybe it is but I just like quiet life) and occasionally they push me too far.
She rang again after a while and this time I answered it. I was dreading what she might say as I couldn't bear it all starting again.
She was clever though. She told me she had just remembered something she needed to tell me....to do with a recipe. She then went on about how good Sherlock is on the telly and rambled for a while. She didn't mention she had phoned before. I knew she was just trying to make sure I was still speaking to her and I put her mind at rest by chatting normally.
I told Philip I didn't like to think she would go to bed worried that she had upset me.
Then he said....."What about you though?" Yeah...what about me.
posted by Sue Banks @ 9:21 AM
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