Sue's Blog - Some assembly required.

Times they do change.

Funny how things change.
We were watching America's Funniest Home Videos last night and one of the finalists was a toddler who was pretending to ....how shall we say "break wind"......and going into fits of giggles.
It was very funny.
During the commercial break they showed this ad....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyVsHNEBeBk

Do take a peek. It is hilarious.
Did you look? Well do it now, it is only a few seconds.
OK...you looked then? Really?

It got me thinking. If my mother had seen that advert she would have had an attack of the "vapours".
Breaking wind, puffing, blowing off.......and especially farting (such a bad word), whatever you choose to call it, did not exist in her world.
She would not acknowledge anything as nasty as that.
I remember one time we had a puppy which was asleep in her lap.
"Oh dear," she said whilst wrinkling her nose, " He has made a 'bad smell'. I think you should take him outside as he might want to go 'uttars'."
UTTARS !!!!
What was that all about.
I can remember getting the chuckles over that for years. I still have to smile even now when I think about it.
I must have had a sheltered upbringing.
Once, as a child, I was playing with a friend of mine when she told me this story about her brother. Apparently, the local bully had been walking past their house.
She said " My brother hid behind the fence and when he went past he blew a raspberry at him."
Me, in my serene innocence replied, "Oh, did it hit him?"
She then explained patiently to me the meaning of the phrase "to blow a raspberry".
How sad was that?
I wonder if I ever trod on her foot?

I have read that in Japan, whilst it is totally unacceptable to blow one's nose in public, it is perfectly ok to fart.
Good job my mother never went further than the Isle of Wight where I think farting is practically a criminal offence. She would not have done at all well in Japan with all those people needing to go uttars every five minutes.

Swearing was another big no no. I hadn't heard most of today's favourite colloquialisms until I was about 14.
No one in my family said anything worse than poop. Oops...I do fib. I remember my mum saying quite blatantly....arse.
Only, I might add, when she was running late for something she would utter (not uttar) the phrase "Oh, I am all behind like a cow's arse."

One day as a child, I remember overhearing her and her sisters being horrified that one had started to read a book only to find it contained 'four letter words'.
FOUR LETTER WORDS......I was intrigued. What could they be? They were obviously really terrible because of the scandalous way they whispered about them.
I finally decided at least one of these 'four letter words' must be shit.
I never could figure out another one and it remained one of life's mysteries for many years.

I have noticed on my visits to the motherland how often some of the, hitherto unknown to me, four letter words are being used on TV.
I found it rather shocking at first, as that is something, unlike farting, that is unacceptable on regular TV over here.
When I am in England I do get used to it but, to be honest, I would prefer it not to become commonplace over here.
If my mother had heard this language on TV she would have been in a permanent vapouric state.
Times do change and so must I.
Oh....pee, po, belly, bum, drawers to it !!!!

posted by Sue Banks @ 1:01 PM