Sue's Blog - Some assembly required.

Nightmares

I have been having some odd dreams lately.
A recent one would be classed more of a nightmare to me.

I dreamed that I was back in England and working in a school.
Not the one I used to work in, affectionately known as "The Factory", but an altogether different school.  A posh one.

I had been given this job teaching.......now wait for it, for this is where the really, scary part comes in......PE.
PE.....me....ME & PE !!!!!!

I have never, ever been of a sporting 'ilk' and know little (by which I mean 'absolutely nothing') about sports, rules or even blowing a whistle.
Oh that reminds me of a friend many years ago, she was a PE teacher,  who, on seeing some sort of rule infringement, blew her whistle so hard and for so long that her knickers fell down.
That in itself would have been enough to put me off forever.
Back to my dream.......
As if it wasn't bad enough finding myself cast as a sports teacher in a posh school ( my mind was racing as to how I was going to get away with it), but the other staff kept 'bigging me up'.
They introduced me to people as if I was some sort of 'celebrity teacher', an amazing prize that they had been so lucky to recruit.
I was becoming more and more terrified.
There are many subjects that, in a pinch, I could get away with for a while.
I am truly skilled and talented in, what is known in the trade as, 'making it up'.
P bloody E......not a clue.
It got worse.  Among the staff I spotted a couple of former colleagues.  This just made it worse.
What if they gave the game away?
They would have collapsed into hysterical laughter if they were told I was there to teach P poxy E?

As I frantically tried to figure a way out of this vision of hell, I heard the headmaster talking to someone about me on the phone.
He too was going on about how fantastically lucky they were to have me on staff now.
I then heard him say I was so amazing that a school in Canada wanted me and I was going to be sent there.
Bugger that.  I had only just made the journey to England from the States.  I wasn't doing that again so soon.
Fortunately, I then woke up.....in a sweat.....in a panic.......but not in Canada with one hand holding a whistle and the other holding my drawers up.
Phew !!!!

posted by Sue Banks @ 3:23 PM